Why Odyssey?

      Life is such a highway with long and wide diverse roads designed with it's ups and down. It provides many opportunities to grow and to fall. It also offers wide choices of experiences that enhances a thorough understanding and deepening of every emotion learned. It' s treasures are hidden, camouflage or disguished in every circumstance available. For wise people, this is a great avenue to ride, explore and launch a quest for journey to seek for  truth. For mediocre, this is just a place where one can exist and go through with the daily routines of existence. For the unwise, this is a place where agony abounds and difficulties are real. In whatever ways and words, this is just LIFE.
     It sets a course which is permanent and can not be changed. Most of all, it never promises comfort however, it provides unimaginable resources that may make travel less tiring and difficult. The courses are never been easy but the thought that somewhere the solution to every test is available is inspiring. It gives both positive and negative options. What is unique with every option is each package is complete. If negative is choosen, it comes in full. Feelings and emotions that are enough to provide self inflicted torture of fear and hesitation. In contrast, positive choice brings an abundant supply of joy, laughter and calm. More than enough to create an assurance that things will be okey.
    Personally, this is how I take my own journey. It is an odyssey that helps me develop myself to become a better person. It is a journey that leads me to the fulfillment of my being. It is an exploration that makes me realize my strenghts and weaknesses. It is a very generous place that allows me to reach my potentials and achieve my goals. Finally, it is an amazing place that gives  constant experience of joy, suffering and contentment. This is my journey, my lifelong odyssey!
    

Struggles

Every  quest to cope with many small things post big struggles. Whether to get out of bed, get bundled up and head for work despite of freezing temperature, struggles are always there. To do or not to do. To go or not to  go. Struggles are built in as long as there are decisions to be made. They become evident and strong specially if options are available. Options might be abundant but the fact that, only one thing can be taken at a time gives more time for struggles to build up.

It is an interesting thing to know that there are given options. However, human nature has also a built in desire to accumulate and want more than one. This often complicates any situation that will again lead to struggles. Pondering on this premise, the source of struggles is often internal. Often, it springs from deep within a being. It is a self inflicted dilemma that when viewed positively, will provide an opportunity to grow and live an active life. It is an opportunity to grow because in every struggle there is a cognitive challenge to think logically and act according to necessities rather than mere desires. It provides an active chances of life because it pushes an individual to take an action and to be brave enough to face the consequences. These are chances in life that should not be missed and should be enjoyed. In the end, I personally believe that this is what makes life more valuable and exciting.

Thanksgiving menu

Thanks to Erasmo Cortez

Several years ago, my mom found a way to avoid having to cook most of Thanksgiving dinner. She didn’t seek this out, but it was ultimately her doing. While I was filtering through all of my emails including an advertisement for www.expertsatellite.com, I found one about Real Simple magazine. My mom always asks us to give her a list of things we want for Christmas; I included a subscription to this magazine on mine. My sister received a subscription, too, and when Thanksgiving rolled around the next year, we found a complete menu in the one of the issues. Since my sister’s husband loves to cook, they suggested we stray from the usual menu and try this new one. My mom was fully supportive of this idea and said if we’d be in charge, she’d make sure to buy all of the ingredients we needed. Since then, she assumes that she will start the turkey in the morning and then turn the rest – meaning all of the sides – over to us. Conveniently, that is the hardest part.

Teenagers

     For fifteen years, I have been administering with teenagers from various nationalities and social classes. So far my experiences are always the ones that makes me richer and wiser (so to speak!). Every working encounter with them is a unique. The encounters might bring additional wrinkles or smiles but in the end, they are all worth keeping and remembering. I can always say that all this privelege is  a true opportunity that I have been emjoying in every moment of my life.

     It is a opportunity because not everyone finds joy in the midst of raucous and chaos of these happy go lucky creatures. Not everyone could also stretch their patience to answer the never ending questions about a lot of simple and complicated things that they found amusing. Not everyone has a thorough understanding how complex the possibilities of their weird thinkings. Could I say, I have done and obtained all these  necessary things? My answer is a definite yes! Is there a secret to uncover in order to do such thing? None--- there is no secrets.

     The key element of understanding and dealing with teenagers lies within the technical knowledge of understanding the process of brain development. Knowing that brain continuos to grow from birth up to 20 will bring light on how to deal with the growing children and adolescents in a proper way. The brain development does not only mean the acquisition of experiences to promote maturity but it centers on the fact that during this development, brain grows in size. How does the growth in size affects the dynamics of children and adolecents thinking and adults responding to them?

     Together with progressing size of a brain comes the development of other regions that will be incharge in various functions.  Therefore, it is logical to know that there are things that teenagers and children can not grasp totally because of the possibility that their faculty is not yet ready and equip to process such concept. No matter what, the truth is they just can not get it because they simply can not yet. With these truth comes a notion that children and adolescents "acting as adults" is a big fallacy.

     By knowing this reality, parents and teachers will be able to understand that from age to 20 these young people need adults proper guidance to let them prosper day by day. It is also very helpful to figure out how to deal with the young generation properly and how to address their concerns accordingly. It will also bring some realization that calling youngs as childen and teens and calling parents adults has a very wide technical gap that defines the roles they should perform.

     Lastly, parenting and teaching requires techincal knowledge and education. It is not an instinct that will come naturally. It is something that needs preparation and education. This is a big challenge that everyone must recognize because our world is not only fast changing. It moves faster towards modernization, technology, fashion and even in the process of making decisions. Are teenagers hard to understand? Again, my answer is NO. However, parents and teachers must realize that parenting and teaching is not only a responsibility to provide needs but also an accountability to keep educating oneself in order to deliver the goods.

LOVE: Simple yet Complex

      Love never considers an option. It is always a decision to be made and a commitment to be accomplished. It never sets conditions. It requires acceptance and letting go. It never recognizes any boundaries. It stands the test of time. Most of all, it survives through living with others without expecting perfection.
    At times it is confusing, that's why LOVE requires time. Time to heal the wounds of broken expectations. Time to explore the mysteries and possibilities hidden behind its pillar. Time to nourish the budding seed into maturity. Most of all, time to savour the joys and pains it might bring.
    Whatever it takes, no one losses in Love. It always offers its abundance as gain. In some occasions, it might not work but surely it will open a moment of learning that will lead to maturity. It might not work the way we wanted it to be. Maybe because it has its own way of doing things and finding its way to life. In the end one thing is sure, the dynamics of love remain constant however, the formula is something to be worked on constantly by everyone. It might vary that is why love remains a mystery to be discovered everyday.

Pregnancy

      It is been sometimes since I posted in my blog. The new state of my life has again inspired me to play my fingers on my keyboard and keep the inspiration of putting words together alive. It is always magical to experience how the new day of my life unfold the mysteries of each day. I guess these mysteries make life worth living and exciting.
      Ten weeks ago, I discovered that I am going to be a mom for the first time and at the ripe age of 34. It is a very overwhelming occasion because I never expect that I am capable of carrying new life in my womb. However, I am blessed with the opportunity and the joy is beyond measures. I knew very well that my pregnancy happened while I am in a whirlwind relationship with a man I just met. This is, I guess is the part that a bit hard to digest specially for somebody like me who used to have a very "strange" view of intimate relationship. As I said, it happened and I am happy with it.
      The news had been a surprise to everybody who have known me as a person. Many thought (including my dad) I was just joking but when they realized I was serious they were in awe and maybe forced o be happy with the news. The uniform reaction of my circle when  broke the news had brought me into retrospect to look back into the life I used to live before I got pregnant. I used to live a very straight forward life which focused mainly in my job and few personal caprices like traveling and volunteering to any organizations i can be useful with. Those moments had brought me countless friend all over the world. I enjoyed every moment I spent with people whom I accepted in my life as part of my vocation.
      Eventually, in the unforgettable decision of exploring my curiosity with somebody within a different dimension of acquaintance and relationship, I got pregnant. My pregnancy led me to another kind of human interaction and self reflection.  I have learned that falling in love with another person will just happen in a wink of an eyelash and my life changed dramatically. I have to stop and pause to see the pros and cons of my next step. I become more careful with every action I made. Most of all, I am happy that the person who is the father of my child is a person I love so much. It does not matter if he does not have the same regards as i do to him as long as I can proudly tell my coming child that she/he was created because Mommy loves his daddy so much.

Ugh, Teaching

Guest written by our friend Mason Abbott

      There’s nothing worse than taking a new job and then realizing you hate it, am I right? I had a great job but it was just really boring but in retrospect maybe I should have thought a little harder about whether or not it was a good time to leave. I started teaching school in the thought that maybe it was my passion but here I am two years later totally burned out on teaching and broke because they don’t pay teachers anything! I had to make some major lifestyle adjustments but it wasn’t too bad – I got a new place and went to http://www.satelliteinternetbroadband.com/ for internet and even started dog sitting a couple of days a week so that I could earn some extra cash. I don’t really know where the next few years are going to take me in terms of career but if I had to guess I wouldn’t say I’d stay in teaching too much longer. It’s absolutely driving me crazy which I kind of hate to say!

The Lord of the Flies--- Flying Through New Horizon

     With the rapid change of economic situation, it is not a big wonder to discover that everything else increases prices too. One of the most affected is the prices of books. Majority of the hard copies on the shelves have increase prices that the luxury of owning a copy of some most favored title becomes a luxury. It is true that e-readers become the latest trend however, as an educator who supports the culture of reading, I still believe that no one can beat the lasting values of hard copy books.  Hard copy books can last longer and can benefit many people. Reading through the printed page allows the readers to explore and dig deeper into the soul of printed text. Passing a copy to another person also communicates personal love and care. The book that is being handed down often transformed into the language of love and care in promoting education and caring for the well being of the next reader.
      With this, I still influence my students to own books and share them to each other. Most likely, this becomes our culture inside our classroom. As we keep acquiring and exchanging our copies we also tried to explore several possibilities where we can purchase our copies for cheaper price but with greater return.Eventually, we found an amazing collections of fiction books from http://canadapost.ca/shopper/literature-fiction-books/sc/905.  The site carries almost complete collections of classic and contemporary titles. It also provides an array of choices from other different online stores which gave a chance to compare prices. The free shipping privilege is also very remarkable. It might be a tough economy we are having now but the site provides an alternative to ease the financial burden of books' prices. I strongly believe that with their reasonable services, there is no excuse that we can not continue upholding the culture of reading.
     Acquiring proper and usable materials need not to be expensive. With a little patience of searching and knowing the right place to order and get them, new wonders will be opened. Knowledge is not hidden from a far. They are just lying somewhere in one corner waiting for someone to discover it. The after effect of nuclear bombing in Japan is not a far mystery to discover. It is just hidden on the pages of amazing books like "The Lord of the Flies". Coming into a right online page that provides reasonable rates opens the doors to fly further into the depths of the new reading horizon 
     

Healing Spirit of Chiricahua National Monument

     In the heart of Chihuahuan Desert hid a  breathtaking and relaxing "World of Rocks".  It is a short drive from the town of Wilcox, AZ. The drive is often exciting due to the entertaining beauty of the desert that will eventually led to the welcoming aura of Coronado Forest. The knowledge of the history of Apache Nation, Cochise Life and Struggles and The Western Civil War make every communion in this community alive. There is an alluring magic intertwined within the spirit of the great people and nature that makes Chricahua National Monument a haven of peace and sanctuary to all souls who look for solace and freedom. This is my experience that made me love and come back to this amazing work of Nature.
     It's an hour and a half drive from my place to Chricahua but the drive is always worthwhile. I am always filled with joy given by the beautiful scene of Highway 82 passing through Patagonia, Sonoita and Elgin. The beautiful landscape brings to life the image of America I used to see in the books when I was a little girl in the Philippines. I always stop by the Amerind Museum and Texas Canyon. This place is a fountain of knowledge and wisdom of Native American history.  As I  enter this territory, I am imagining Cochise, Geronimo and all the Chricahuan Apaches traveling these mountains and climbing the beautifully formed rocks. Along the monument's entrance, I usually stop to touch the rock with the monument's name. It is my way of telling the place that I am back again and I am thankful. Adding to the beauty of the place are the different wildlife that commune with human along the way. The black tail deer, skunks and squirrels are just some of the wonderful pluses. The diversity of flora and fauna makes the place true haven too.
     In one of my visits, I was truly excited when I came face to face with a coatimundi near the organ pipe formation. It was one of my unforgettable encounters with the natural residents of Chiricahua. I was literally jumping for joy because I actually laid my eyes to the animal that is considered endangered in AZ. Most of all, I recognized it and it showed itself to me for sometimes. The lullaby of bird's chorus near the Massai Peak is a priceless gift of nature too. These are just some of the little treats I receive with my many trips to the place.
     Every return I make, I always  have a great anticipation for a wonderful surprise waiting for me at the peak of Massai. Standing tall at the peak and looking at the forest of rocks gives me the feeling that I truly conquered all the weaknesses I have. It gives me a temporary relief from the stresses of a busy lifestyle. I totally forgot the race of life I am living down in the plains. Sitting on the rocks and looking down at the gorgeous nature makes me deepen my love and appreciation of our Creator. This is a feeling that I can never bargain for any materialistic pleasure that this world will offer. Chiricahua has a spirit that heals the wounds caused by plains. It provides an opportunity to be alone with myself, our Creator and our mother Earth.
    I am literally drunk with  life from the breast of our loving Mother Earth. I am being lulled to sleep by the gentle breeze of its breath. I am being calmed by the soothing voices of its birds. I am being transported to the bosom of love that no human can ever give. I learned from the footprints and wisdom of our ancestors who depended on the bounties of this luscious kingdom for life.  Most of all, I am being healed by the spirit of the land that it give to all its children who come home for rest. Chiricahua makes me love life and appreciate the beauty of simplicity that our Creator has given freely.
  

Life as We Knew It

      My short exchange of hi and hello with my sister informed me that our former principal, Sir Boy, passed away yesterday. I told my sister that maybe he had already accomplished his purpose so the time for him to go home to the bosom of Allah had came. After the conversation, I sat and recalled my memory of Sir Boy. For sure he was never been a perfect school administrator. He was just a mediocre professional from a minority Muslim group in Mindanao. He was one of those lucky few who found his way under the care of Catholic Missionaries who eventually sent him to school. Later, he worked hard in order to complete his university years to become one of the pioneer teachers of Isulan National High School. He was then married to another Muslim teacher who also grew up with another Catholic Missionaries. In one way or another, the influence of Christian upbringing can be seen in their ways within their household. Islam is dominantly practiced by many of their ways are related to Christian. Sir Boy was my mom's friend so I saw how he tried to beat all odds in order to climb the professional ladder of education in the Philippines.  I also saw how some Muslim royalties disobeyed his authority as a school principal because of the stereotype that he just descended from an orphanage. Despite of everything, he remained calm and tried his best to address every issue. He was always with a fatherly smile.
      Sir Boy was also the person who opened the first door of opportunity when I was struggling with my teaching career. I remembered when one afternoon I met him along the fish market in our town. He stopped to ask me if I am his friend's daughter. I confirmed and he again asked me if I was still interested to become a teacher in his school. I was truly amazed when I said yes! He then told me that he will expect me to his office the following morning. I did report to his office and he led me without questions to "my classroom". I was so delighted but I still asked him if he needed to require me some documents and interview. Before he left, he told me that he already had them and he knew that I am a great teacher. I found confidence and even if the position is temporary, I did my best to become a great teacher. When the school year ended, Sir Boy decided to keep me which created a very big issue within the board. He defended his decision and stood to keep me in my teaching post. Several staff had shown me unwelcoming gestures and I found support from the group of other Muslim teachers. Several gossips against me arose but Sir Boy supported me with an assurance that he trusted my capacity as a teacher. Again, I did everything I can to deserve my principal's trust.
     The time came when  national permanent items for teachers were released. Sir Boy did his best to get one for me. However, politics and money defeated his noble purpose. He tried his best to fight my cause to the superintendent's office but his cause was trampled down. We lost my item but he taught me a deep sense of integrity through his actions.  The hypocrites who were watching had celebrated my failure. It was painful but I took courage from the integrity of my principal and my pains. I decided to leave our place and seek employment at the university in the city. I was given a chance and in the university, I gained enough experiences and trainings that qualified me for a teaching position in US.
      While completing my US application, I again went back to Sir Boy to ask for his recommendation. He expressed his dismay that I was leaving the country to work with foreign students. Still, he willingly gave me his support through the recommendation letter. Before  I stepped out of his office, he reminded me that if in the future I will decide to come back, he will still willing hire me. I smiled and he stood to lead me to the door. That was also the last time I saw Sir Boy's fatherly smile. Occasionally, he sent his regards through my mom which I gladly returned by saying that I am fine.
    Sir Boy is an example of a person whose heart's desire is just to find a decent place for himself and his family in this world. He just wanted to improve his identity and fulfill his dreams of becoming somebody that people will recognize through his worth as human. He succeeded to beat the challenges of ignorance and poverty but the quest for society's  acceptance had been a constant battle for him. Several members of society refused to accept that a once an orphan made it to the race that very few people finished. Sir Boy's life was bombarded with gossips, intrigues and lies inflicted by people who suffer from professional jealousy. However, despite of everything, Sir Boy remained calm and compassionate. He had never keep anger or hatred to anybody. He tried his best to be nice to everyone---both Muslims and Christians. Personally, I will be forever grateful to him for believing in my abilities and for taking the pain of opening the doors of my professional journey.


                           ---------- SALAAM SIR BOY and ENS-AH ALLAH!!!

Dad's Going All Out

Author: Joseph Sandoval

      When my dad decided he wanted to move out of our guest house and into a place of his own, I was a little nervous. Mom’s been gone for a while now and while dad is mentally just as young as ever, I worry that since his body’s a bit frailer he may have a hard time taking care of himself. The good news is, he moved out about six months ago and things are going great! He loves the independence of being on his own again and I feel much better since we got him a security system from allhomesecurity.com and a nurse to check in once a week. Jenny helps dad shop for groceries and clean the house a bit which allows him to do the things he really loves like napping and fishing! I’m glad we were able to come to a compromise when it came to dad moving out – the last thing I wanted was for him to feel like I was mothering him! He’s happier now than ever and so are we.

Ease and Comfort Equals Security

     Since I moved here in Nogales, I am already accustomed to see trucks with green stripes of border patrols, blue stripes of custom officers, plane white of national guards and the typical while cars of the local police and sheriff office. Statistically, the number of authority in uniforms is way more than the actual number of the local residents in our city. The presence of these uniformed officers bring feeling of security and assurance that committing  an illegal intrusion to properties is just like committing a suicide. Personally, I was thinking that way before an event that changed my perspective occurred.
     I was living in a two-door apartment. I love the location of my apartment because it literally overlooks  the city. I like the serenity of my neighborhood because majority of the houses are not fully occupied with many people. There are at least 1 or two people living in each house. Every afternoon, I enjoy walking around and looking into beautiful and well maintained yards. I noticed few signs of security devices installed in the front lawn of some houses. I did not give much attention to them. I go to work and come home everyday feeling certain that things are just fine. Until one afternoon, I arrived with police cars parked in front of my apartment. I went to see the happenings and I came to know that unit A was robbed. Someone had cut the round bars of the windows and got inside the place to loot some appliances. The event awaken my senses that there is no assurance for security.As soon as I got myself settled in my place, I was scrambling into my mouse searching the net information on home security.  In my search, I come into the www.allhomesecurity.com where I found a very functional security system.The site offered me information and outline of the system I needed.  Few contacts and discussion with the house owner and I am off into having my own system at home.
     The installation of this new system gave me some opportunities for new learning and discovery but most of all, it gives me a real sense of steadiness. It is often true that I felt comfortable that I am living in a safe place but a  concrete evidence that I am protected makes a difference. I can be away from my place for days and not worry if somebody had already taken over my little acquisition in my humble abode. I enjoyed time more than I did before. I might be living alone but I knew that within each complete cycle of the clock somebody I can rely is monitoring me. Every morning as I walk around, I always stop infront of my yard to look at the little sign that shouts ease and comfort, my security warning sign!

Wasted

     Many times, I worried about a lot of things like an application submitted to a certain office, travel plans for next month, possibilities of keeping my job or visa application status. My worries sometimes affect my ways of doing things. Worse, they held me to accomplish so many little things that need to be completed everyday. I overlooked so many beautiful things like  a smiling friend, a new rose petals in my garden or the simple wag of my dog's tail. I only saw the gloomy side of life.

    I simply missed lots and lots of moments that I could had been spending enjoying the so many blessings I have. What a foolish way of neglecting life! What an irresponsible action to utilize time! How many are not lucky enough to see another day of their lives? How many has no capacity to explore and grab the beautiful flower in front of them? How many has no way of seeing the lively blue color of the sky? How many has never heard the sweet singing of the doves and cardinals? Alas! Here I am. I am capable of enjoying everything yet I am so fool to neglect them. I had wasted too much time worrying about things beyond my control. I had wasted moments that have not yet given to me. I am glad, I finally knew that my treasures are wasted.

First Timer's Luck

       In all events of life there is always a first time. First time is always memorable because it marks the beginning of taking courage in order to act. This is also an initiation that will open the possibilities of learning. Sometimes, it is also called taking chances. The enthusiasm of this experience leads to some realizations that may make or break the goals. However, it is often experienced that the first try is successful. It is called "the first timer's luck."
     Experiencing the first timer's luck ignites encouragement and promotes bravery. It awakens aspect of confidence that motivates additional push to continue. It achieves pride and fulfillment that  speaks possibilities of every endeavor. Often, the person will forget the hesitation and will continue to do the action with hope for more. Whether the action is good or bad, the doer believes that luck will be just around the bend and success is inevitable.
    For me,  this phenomenon is always set with a definite purpose.  It is to show me what is really hidden behind the chances. Life will show it's how, what and why so that I can reflect critically whether the value of the experience is worth keeping. Whether the gain is more than the lost, vice versa or it is just break even. It exposes the parameter of risk that needs to be calculated the moment a decision of taking another chance is about to be taken. This is one ways of life's fair treatment . It gives me  a fair chance to become better traveler in  life's highway.
     Since life's courses are taken based in different speed and calculation, they vary according to my capacity to analyze everything that is included in each course.The courses are harsh because they will first provide the experience before they will teach the lesson. In my experience, it took me sometimes to understand this process. It was because often I am caught in the illusions that the first timer's luck lasts forever. Now, I knew that it will not. By knowing this, I found life easier and more exciting. I become more encouraged to take more daring moves and decisions. I love savouring the joys of my first timer's luck. I become more passionate to discover what possible returns my actions will bring. I love calculating the risks of my decisions and learning from the consequences. Life is a passion that is filled with many mysteries. Unfolding the mysteries makes it more beautiful. I take chances because I knew there is no lost the moment I live my life. I will always gain new wisdom that will enable me to see things beyond their limits.
      In the end, I might be asked if "am I living a perfect life?" Definitely not but knowing that I will have new lucks tomorrow makes a big difference.Whenever I can, I take advantage of my first timer's luck. The second time, I am already aware that I have to face the consequences of either making or losing it. Indeed, life is fair!!!



  

NOT A CLOCK

When I woke up and grabbed my watch to check for the time, panicked came rushing in. It was not because  the two harsh hands were ticking faster than normal but the fact that, I was not able to make sense of their direction. The rhythm was so urgent that blood rushed through my veins. I scrambled in the blurry state of my room. No progress. I dug into the deeper pit of my purse, trying to feel the familiar smoothness and shape of a box. It was not there.

Frustration started to evade my restless being. I continued the search. I knew, it was just somewhere. Checked my table, near the laptop and beside the TV. My spirit had totally awaken and my desire to find the black box was slowly drowning the pinch of patience hanging on the thread of my sanity. I never realized how intense the importance of such device in my life.Not until that dawn. Before anger replaced patience, the black box was finally unveiled. As I caressed the smoothness of it rim, I felt elated.

I knew that the tool inside is the most important treasure I ever had. Inside, nestled serenely was my spectacles. My most treasured glasses.  My two arms, lifted the device so delicately. With relief, I placed them on the prominence of my nose. The most precious flood of light filled my surroundings. Oh, what a relief it was. Specially when the promise of a greater day ahead was laid upon my eyes.

As I trod the path towards the kitchen, a thought struck. Since when did my glasses become  so precious to me? It seemed that it was just yesterday that I went out of the bed and moved like thunder rushing out to start the day. Was that long already or I was just too busy to notice that time had taken its job to depreciate the value of my youth. Indeed, time took its role. It did not falter to remind me of its passing.  It did not use the ticking arms of the clock not even the yelling sound of the alarm. It just found it's way through my awareness. The effect was so strong. I paid a visit to my optometrist. I got a new set of glasses. So, my ODYSSEY  continued.

Inspiration

     I have been facing the screen of my laptop. No words coming out. I do not know what to write. It is not that I have nothing to write. Infact, with  tensions at work, personal life, political scene and environmental issues. I am lost. I am afraid that my words are not enough to capture them all. I am at the end.  I do not know where to turn back. It is totally blurred.

    I am struggling for inspiration. Its confusing. However, it is in the midst of chaos and confusion that I become aware of the wealth I have. The wealth of my soul nourished by experience. Something that can not be broken, stolen or crushed. Something I can call my own. It is like a flowing river that keeps my being grow. It is by having a constant awareness that my nothingness is actually my strength. It is the source of never ending inspiration.

      An inspiration flourished by words. Words coming from experience. Experience that pushes me to bare my soul. With this, I dare to swim. Swim down not into the abyss but into the ocean of life's wealth. This is the moment when I knew, I am born to write. I am my inspiration. I will always be.

His Name is Jerry

      One of the best memories that can brighten my day is the times when my brother Jerry and I were growing up together. Born just a year after I was born, our lives intertwined and our parent's decisions were always dependent on how the two of us could benefit from each other. May it be the choices of clothes, toys, foods and trainings to the schools we went and friends we had, our life story was always one. I was his elder sister and he was my younger brother and we should always be together. The decision that was established by our parents after a failure attempt of giving me away to my Pa's sister. My Aunt refused to take me for the reason that I was a very fragile and underweight infant.Ma and Pa were left without a choice but to keep us together.
     While we were growing, we both learned how to negotiate, give ways and stick together in any events of our daily activities. Jerry was the only playmate, partner, defender, helper and follower that I ever had. Ma who is a typical disciplinarian, would always use our Pa's belt to discipline both of us whenever we made a mistake. I can still remember, the two of us crying and counting our marks after the beating session. We got support and strength as we consoled each other that when we grow, finish our education and have a job we can get out of the "hell" together. There were nights when, I would woke up just to stare at my brother who calmly sleep on his side of the bed. At my young age, I was aware that he is one of the reasons why I stayed positive in my outlooks in life. However, things bounded to change when we started going to school.
     We both excelled in our academics but for whatever reasons, I became the darling of the crowd. My brother lived within my shadow and endured the same expectations  as mine. I became an object of comparison whenever he attempted to have his identity. He struggled for years and I became so selfish too as I drunk to every achievement I had. Despite of the silent competition, we remained partners in facing the challenges of both school and family.
    We first went to the same university and I had started to see my brother's attempt to have his own identity and stay away from my shadow. I had chosen a different lifestyle which was a little deviant to the conservative upbringing we used to have.  I was drawn to the things of the world while my brother introduced me as his "cousin" to some people instead of sister. To my closed friends he was my brother but to his associates I was his cousin. I graduated from the university and left to become a wandering gypsy. It was the time for my brother to finally have himself. He made a daring move to find his own identity which I believed he succeeded. We parted ways and communication was and is not that often anymore. Each of us dealt with our crisis and fought for who we are. The road is not easy and both of us encountered tough situations.
     Years went by and there are things in the past that are totally forgotten. When we met again, I was a little bit surprised when he addressed me with my first name instead of the typical "Manang". The address given to an elder sister of our family which literally our parent's expression of respect. He is more knowledgeable and smarter in the field he chose. Somehow, we got different ways at looking and approaching situations that we are both aware of. That  is why a silent respect can be felt whenever we discuss matters.My brother has really gone a long way. He overcame and succeeded over some major blows of his life. He made his name in his field which is entirely different from mine. I am sure he beat life's odds and found himself. Whenever both of us got troubles, we still called and get support from each other. Once my brother asked me, "Jing, what are we going to do?" I smiled because I knew that no matter what I still have my brother whom I have known since we were kids. He is my brother and his name is Jerry.

I Climbed, I Conquered and I Won

        I love the sunny days of Arizona but having the sun still shining brightly by 5:00 pm is another story. The sun is just one of my agonies. Let me add my car that  am having difficulty to start and my desire of going to the church which is located by the other side of the hill. The boyfriend of my neighbor who parked his Harley Davidson right behind my car intimidated me too. I was really struggling whether I will walk or just stay and continue watching my favorite TV show. Eventually, I decided to go.

       Clad in my walking attire, I started the enduring hike under the sun towards the stiff hills. It was really an effort that after 5 meters I  stopped, looked and thought of going back. I struggled again. I glanced back to my house and looked forward to the hill. "Man!!! it is still very far" I uttered with frustration. I was also thinking of a higher hill to climb on the way back and I was positive that the sun won't set until around 7:00 pm. I thought, "it was too much for me". I took a deep breath and turn around on the left side of the hill. I saw the awesome pictures of my city and on the other side, the city of Nogales, Mexico.  I let myself drunk into the beauty that surrounded me. I started to notice a cotton tail staring at me under the Mesquite tree. I forgot about my miseries. I was so mesmerized by the beauty and fascinated by the idea that I was standing on the highest side of the city.

      I started my journey to the top and descended to another side of the hill to climb another one. I forgot the heights of my terrain, I kept going. I noticed the beautiful old houses, flowers and dogs that I did not notice before despite the fact that I am driving on the same street daily. As usual, I met a border patrol car while I was struggling on my way to the top of the second hill. Still, I got the inspiration to smile at the agent which he gladly returned too.Though, I was not certain if it was a smile of amusement or whatever. I arrived at the church in time for the Eucharistic celebration to start. I was feeling great as I tried to grasp the Spanish homily.

      After the celebration, I started to heed back with a song and a smile on my lips. The sun was still painful to the skin and the climb was more difficult and longer. This time, it did not bother me anymore. I passed through some old folks drinking coffee by their patio. They waved and greeted me cheerfully with "Buenos tardes!". I waved at them and gave them my sweetest smile as I said "gracias". As I ascended to the highest peak of the hill, I was again greeted by the same border patrol car. I again smiled and he waved back to me.Once again when I reached peak, I stopped, raised my arms and breathed the refreshing afternoon air. I stayed for few minutes to check the views of two cities from two different countries. Then, off I continued my journey down to my house.

    As I looked back to the hill, it was really stiff. However, I learned something. It is not the height of the hills or the heat of the sun that could have stopped me. It is my attitude. The experience also taught me that view differs depending on which angle I will see it. I made it to my journey. I got my daily Bread. I met some good people. I conquered my weakness. Life is indeed beautiful.

Students as Teachers' Reflection

     To stand in front of students is a great honor that  teachers can have. This opportunity completes the fullness of being teachers. Teachers become teachers because there are students.However, there is something unique in teaching. Often, teachers do not only see what the students' future might be, but also, the reflection of their own future. TEACHERS OWN FUTURE. Some young and carefree  students  might not give so much thoughts about the teachers' daily gospels and may look at them as the same nagging words they heard from their homes. As part of teenagers' defiant nature, they may resist and totally deny them. The rebellious and defiant nature is surely brought by raging hormones of physiological growth. The same hormones experienced by teachers many decades ago. Infact, both teachers and students experience exactly same battles, only at different periods. No one has ever been exempted in engaging into these struggles of growth. All have to pass this stage because this is  the dynamics of life. With these dynamics, life is indeed a battle to beat or to enjoy.

      Dynamics are processes which all generations have been created and bounded to pursue. They are processes that are interrelated and can not be broken. One unique aspects of dynamics is the reality of cause and effect. What has been molded, built and created today,  will become the realities and the pictures of tomorrow. Considering this principle of dynamics, the students whom  teachers are administering today will become the agents to continue what is being done in the coming years. If something goes wrong within the process of building, the effect will be seen later. There is no available options that will offer every generation the things it wants to take or trash those that it does not want to embrace. Things, events and situations will manifest as they are, depending on how they were or are processed. There is no escape.

     In the end, we, as today's generation of teachers are doing our vocations to the best we can,  to be sure that the wonderful world and life that had been won by our fore parents will continue to flourish so that next generation will savour the fullness of  rights for an ideal place to live with dignity. Time will pass and so our time. We will grow old, retire and expire. Our students will mature and will leave the teen stage of life. Together with the passing time is the expectation that both we, the teachers and they, the students,  must  accomplish the roles and responsibilities expected. This reality is now in the process of transition from us to our students. The transition is often hard and difficult. Conflict, rejection, insult as well as acceptance, support and affirmation are inevitable. They are all part of the awesome package called LIFE.  Life is a school that offers free learning and its lessons are maybe harsh and painful or adorable and inspiring. Most of the time, the wealth of its wisdom is hidden and only the persevering souls discover them. That is why, it is a luxury given to the chosen few. As one of many teachers around the world, my daily prayer is:" LORD, TODAY HELP ME MAKE A REFLECTION THAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU."

Easter

Christmas will be useless if there is no Easter. It is during Easter that the fulfillment of Jesus' God-ship is confirmed. Therefore, rejoice and celebrate our salvation!!!